Killing a bit of time before heading off to work.
Been minding my diet lately, and I just noticed this morning as I was undressing to take my shower, dang, this is starting to pay off! I wouldn't call myself "undeniably hot n' sexy," (for starters, such would be super arrogant), but I do have to admit I'm very impressed with myself and my progress. I should have noted it earlier in the week when I stopped off at a local resale shop to purchase new pants in a smaller size because my older, larger ones fall off of my butt when I put them on. Even when I have them buttoned and zippered up, they're stupidly too large for me and LITERALLY fell clean off of my butt. Freaking YES!
Will say this much; I will NEVER be what one would define as classically "thin" or "skinny." It's not how my body is built to be. I can be more muscular and full figured while remaining conscious about what I eat and maintaining a healthy body size/type/mass, but I'm never going to be a size zero. I probably won't even make a size eight, to be honest, and I'm perfectly okay with that. I am a full figured female with broad hips, shoulders and a healthy sized chest. That's just how my body happens to be set up. It doesn't mean I get to let myself go, but it does mean I need to be very realistic in my body size expectations, actuality and goals. I am NOT striving for a size zero and probably not an eight, either. I currently sit at a sweet sixteen or foxy fourteen for my pants size, and while I am very comfortable with that, my goal is to be maybe a ten to twelve or somewhere there abouts. I'm not aiming for eight, six, four, two, zero... none of that. That would NOT be a healthy weight or size for a girl of my structure. (For the record, I am what is called an Ectomorph -- I am busty with full, fleshed out hips, or "child bearing hips," as it's more commonly called, and furthermore on that record, I think very highly of my appearance, size and health.)
I am still working on eating healthy and moving my butt about, but I'm not doing it with the goal in mind for being as thin as humanly possible in order to meet society's unattainable standard of beauty and its ridiculous notion that beauty can be measured in sizes and numbers and figures. Beauty comes in every size, shape and color. There is no magical number that should appear on the label of your jeans that makes you "pretty" or "ugly." If I teach you nothing else, let it be this; ugliness does not exist ANYWHERE except inside. There is no such thing as "ugly" on the outside. There just isn't, so quit worrying about it -- I assure you, you are GORGEOUS just exactly as you are now, and hey, if you're beautiful inside, even more power to you and that'll make you even lovelier on the outside. Nothing in the book of MLP is more beautiful than a really well used, healthy, intelligent mind, heart and soul. Everything else is bullshit, don't worry about it.
But I'm beginning to see progress in myself, which is hugely empowering. It's cool to think that I can directly affect my appearance, it's very body image positive. Please, though, allow me to reiterate, I am NOT losing weight to be "beautiful" by unrealistic societal standards that no woman (or man, either) will ever achieve. There's a reason Photoshop exists, ladies n' gents, and I think the way advertisers use it is absolutely abhorrent and damaging to the little girls (and big ones, too) who look at these faux, unreal glossy pictures of models that don't exist in nature, showing their too-thin, unhealthy rear ends in cheap, stupid fashion magazines and strive to look like that woman in the picture. NEWSFLASH: THOSE "WOMEN" ARE NOT, I REPEAT, ARE NOT REAL!
Which is why I admire full figured sweethearts like Kate Winslet, who, in a magazine spread, was Photoshopped, her waistline reduced, said to the public, and rather loudly (and in an adorable accent), "THAT IS NOT ME, THEY FAKED THAT! I am not that size!" GO, MISS KATE! That's the kind of woman I want to see; one who is not ashamed of herself or her size, apologizes to no one for it, and lets girls know that it's okay to be the size you are, so long as it is not damaging to your health, and that applies in both directions of the spectrum, large and small women. I greatly appreciate what Miss Winslet did for thousands of girls who saw her faked photo, letting them know, "real women exist. These bitches you see in bimbo magazines ain't it, ladies."
Let me end my entry here by saying that no matter if you're full figured or slimmer, please, live healthfully. Eat wisely; be aware of what you put into your body -- that is no joke, the things you eat greatly affect your health and quality of life. Be sure to exercise regularly, get your heart pumping and blood moving; get your butt up and out. It's miraculous preventative medicine, and y'all know what they say about prevention and cure, yeah? The important thing to take away from my journal-poo entry is not, "be thin at all costs," but "be HEALTHY for YOUR BODY TYPE at all costs!" Do what you need to do to be healthy and then accept what your body looks like after so doing. Be healthy first and foremost; healthy is beautiful, more so than anything else.
God love all of you like I do, please don't EVER doubt your own unique, wonderful beauty, and if you don't think you're beautiful, then know that Mandi Pope does!
Mandi L. P.